January 2011
1 post
April 2009
2 posts
Losing my religion.
I am, once again, losing my will to parse.
You’ve heard it all before, and at this point, Our Lady of Introspection has sunk far below the caricature water mark and is now an openly mocked joke - like bringing a braying donkey to a pig party. One Handmaiden is still circling the cereal bowl, and the other jumped ship and is riding the wave of “thank God you aren’t...
Anatomy of an internet breakdown. Please email.
Our Lady of Introspection is on a spiral of insanity usually reserved for Courtney Love on a long weekend bender. If you live your life on the internet while steadfastly maintaining that you have another life somewhere else, eventually, you are bound to go a little nuts when truth and reality collide. Also, if you have to repeatedly assure people you really are nice and likeable, you are just a...
March 2009
5 posts
Big trouble in little internet.
Oh, the Days of Inanity. Big changes are afoot. Mary is leaving, JA got fired, and Meghan is still trying to win friends and influence people. Onward with bulleting goodness:
Our Handmaiden of Passive Aggression:
Big news is that, according to Gawker, who got a tip about a drunken confession from Our Lady of Introspection (who never drinks, ever), Mary is leaving the the band. This is about...
Press on tattoo.
Ahem.
Our Lady of Introspection got a tramp stamp on her wrist, which is probably the body part of hers that sees the most action, if you really think about it. Three letters: LIU.
Does she see herself in a Charlie’s Angels movie with Lucy? Could be, as those taxicab confessions aren’t going to keep her in the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed. Except they probably are -...
What a difference a year doesn't make.
From the archives, one year ago:
From: Julia Allison julia@juliaallison.com> Date: Wed, Mar 5, 2008 at 2:46 PM Subject: A thought To: Jakob Lodwick Chance to do the right thing!
I’m going to the apple store tomorrow to buy a macbook air.
It would be amazing if you lived up to your promise from this christmas.
How about it, JL?
The response:
On 3/5/08 3:54 PM, “Jakob” wrote:
I took...
Lordy, lordy, look who turned......
We’re in lean times, folks, and lean times call for ribbed, bulleted, and linked pleasures.
Our Lady of Introspection:
You know how she claims to be friends with all of her exes? Except for that one whose confidences she betrayed on Gawker. And that one who does video games who broke up with her in spectacular public fashion. And now, the most recent one who didn’t want to be subject...
February 2009
2 posts
Fuck you, South Dakota.
I don’t write this for fame or fortune. I don’t give a shit who reads it, generally, This is just a bunch of folks who are like-minded about vapid attention whores. Because of the tumblr drama, I hit a few radars.
The nice guy who set this up put in a google analytics code and this morning, I actually read it. Shit - a lot of you are as bored as I am, internationally even. To those...
Vd Day.
[Housekeeping Edit: There has been some…..activity regarding this blog. While I was sleeping, I was apparently nailed to the cross and reborn, all ahead of Easter!
Official comment - Karp and co. fucked up and realized it, probably right after JA sent a gloating email to Gawker about policing the internets (and the NYT and Slate picked up on it). I missed almost all of it - I think I knew I...
January 2009
2 posts
Yes we can.
Our Lady of Introspection: Imagine that you get the opportunity to witness the inauguration of the 44th president, and because you once fancied yourself a journalist at a DC university, you think you have some bona fides. Your mother was a speechwriter, and because you once tactlessly blogged about shagging a politician and once met Obama at a BBQ, you think you could have been one, too. You...
Feliz Nuevo Ano
Christ, a new year and yet, we are still here. Parsing the stupidity. It kind of feels like recapping American Idol, doesn’t it? We all know how this works out - the most packaged person wins, except they don’t, and are never heard from again until the VH-1 special about one hit wonders hits the airwaves.
Confession - I have started to love Mary. It may be Stockholm Syndrome (I write that...
December 2008
1 post
Merry Festivus
Given all that we have been through, I have to believe that none of you are still actually reading the collective musings of Our Lady of Introspection and her Handmaidens. They jumped the shark, the couch, and anything else they could name drop on their way to another photoshoot for another publication you have never heard of and will never buy.
Starting any personality-based business is...
September 2008
1 post
Fall update.
Christ, it has been way too long and yet not nearly long enough.
Since we last parsed, a few issues of national importance have taken center stage. A presidential election, hurricanes in the South, and a near collapse on Wall Street. Naturally, you would expect that Our Lady of Introspection, a Georgetown poli sci grad (and newly self-described reporter) would be all over the elections, while...
August 2008
4 posts
All in quotes.
Quick and dirty, like my martini:
Behold the value of a political science degree at Georgetown: “I think Joe Biden’s nephew is a douche, ergo, I am irritated by Biden as VP.” You would think someone who also fucks and tells about political figures would have a better insight into the demographic in which she lived her college years. Then again, if anyone has read anything she...
Dear Frangry:
I love you just as much and have something special planned for Monday.
Best to you and Moss,
baugher
frangry:
Dear Nonsociety.net, Please stop trying be Baugher. You are nowhere near as clever. xo, Frangry
July 2008
2 posts
First course.
You know how most restaurant critics don’t review a new place in the first few months, preferring instead to give the joint some time to work out the kinks? Yeah, I am not Frank Bruni, and although Our Lady of Introspection does share a victim complex and a bloated sense of self-importance with Jeffrey Chodorow, she doesn’t have his talent or skill. What she does have? Is a manic amount of...
The Mysterious Parsing Noise
I think your long term plan is brilliant, but you didn’t answer my direct question. Also, until Alex Balk gets on the Khmer Rouge beat (and I think he is still on Zimbabwe) I don’t think it is going to get on my radar, if you know what I am saying.
dearconbon:
Dear Conbon,
I am the author of a modestly well-received blog that parsed the manic amount of content generated by a certain...
June 2008
1 post
Once more with feeling.
Christ, it has been a while and not nearly long enough. The hypothesis of the experiment proved to be remarkably accurate. The credit is yours, baugher nation. For old times’ sake, let’s take a look at some of the topics we have missed over the past few months, bulleted and ribbed for your pleasure.
Sex and the City: My favorite part of this bout of staged inanity was that I couldn’t help but...
May 2008
2 posts
Of clown pants and tight hats.
In memory of regular baughering….. Let me see if I have this straight: Our Lady of Introspection can’t fill out her pants and her hat can’t fit around her extension-burdened head. Meanwhile, the Handmaiden of Passive Aggression is thoughtfully bringing sexy camel toe back and she doesn’t have the head to fill out the hat. Well played, Meghan. Give them enough rope and all that. If you want...
Hush.
I am getting the sense that I am a cog in a horribly disorganized publicity stunt. I am not Dr. Phil, and balanced people who are legitimately worried about being stalked don’t live blog for the internet their whereabouts in real time or further exacerbate a manufactured feud with their parents. You think you can use me, Scrunchy? Not hardly. The time has come for another experiment: What...
April 2008
18 posts
Easy as 1-2-3.
I guess I have to parse the ABC.com article, but Christ, that is almost as tedious as parsing Our Lady of Introspection. Please forgive my detachment on all of this, as the promise for fresh baughering is fighting with my JA fatigue, plus all the gender and geographical reassignments of the past week. There are, however, some choice quotes in the story that merit a parsing. Also, a note to the...
Stay the course.
You know how after we went to war with the 9/11 terrorists in the wrong country to protect ourselves from the weapons of mass destruction that weren’t there, and in the process, completely upended a country that is now in a massive state of civil unrest, such that we can’t do a takeback and pull out of the whole damn thing with a note of apology, saying “our bad, wrong country?” Yeah, that is...
Private parts.
There is almost no way to start this without sounding a little scrunchy, but a word of thanks to the tipsters interns, rebloggers and emailers who voiced concerns about the integrity of tumblr’s privacy policy. I am absolutely confident that there was no breach of that policy, and that despite the Pink Lady’s desperate attempt to portray herself as a tumblr insider, no private information about...
“IP addresses never lie, my dear. Take up archery, seriously. It’s super fun!...”
– Another email from our gal, after her latest tantrum. It could be that she can’t read any text without her name in it. It could also be that she didn’t understand the previous posts. I suppose one could also believe that she has decided on a course of action and won’t be dissuaded by blatant tips to...
Blogger, please.
Oh Julia Scrunchy, I thought I explained that correlation is not causation. You might have narrowed down one of the uploaders, but don’t mistake that for knowing who generated the content. Quite frankly, there is no way for you to know, even if the brass at tumblr were violating their TOS, which I am confident they are not. But you really think you know, goddamn it. An experiment for you....
Weekend trio.
A few from the mailbag, a few blind items, and a few parsings, all ribbed and bulleted for your pleasure: Mailbag: Q: Are you Alex Balk? A: No. Pretty sure that’s a compliment for me and a slam on him, though. Q: Are you Julia Langbein and / or Neel Shah ? A: No, although I am intrigued by the subtle hint that they are one and the same. I’ll still score that one in the compliment column,...
Footprints.
A word of thanks to the interns tipsters, who have been very creative in their attempts to keep baugher an ongoing concern. My personal favorite implored me not to stop until the hair extensions are gone, but all of the emails have been laugh out loud funny. Also, dishy, and we’ll get to all of that before the end of our journey together. Just know that during the dark times? Yeah, I was carrying...
From the mailbag.
Q:Are you Jakob Lodwick? A: No. I have never met him. I used to think he was kind of a tool, as my only exposure to him was through the JA prism, and he was kind of a tool in all of that. Now, I see him differently - as someone who co-founded a couple of successful companies who made a really bad mistake in getting involved with the Pink Lady. I hope that his name eventually becomes disassociated...
Blind items.
WHAT 20-something who blogs about her lip injections boasted via proxyblog about getting carded. [Ed. Note: she doesn’t even have a NY license, which is sort of a perfect metaphor.] My guess is that it was an 18-and-under party, or the doorman thought she resembled a certain unrelated actress, albeit with much more sun damage. Let me see if I understand correctly. She disapproves of people...
No one enjoys cold turkey.
To take the edge off, a few quick parsings. This is my long kiss goodnight, and I will use tongue: The elusive Forbidden Side of Our Lady’s face! Now, this is only secondhand, and purely anecdotal, but I have it on decent authority that Ehren Kruger attempted such a daring shot while working at Fox News, and the trauma of it resulted in The Ring. If we haven’t heard from Brian Van in a few...
Winding down.
Internet, our time together is coming to a close. What started as an experiment on a cold January night has morphed into a most excellent and entertaining writing adventure: what would happen if you parsed a pathological narcissist (and later, her Handmaidens) and turned her mirror on her (and them)? Would she (or they) ever shut up and listen to objective criticism, or would she just dismiss it...
Parsing, part deux. The hangover edition.
The Mediabistroarticle was a near perfect antidote to the ridiculous Gray Lady’s puff piece on the Pink Lady. It was disheartening to witness the Paper of Record become USA Today, at least insofar as they ‘report’ on current entertainment trends, but I will still read the Week in Reivew. For now. The mediabistro piecehad a much more objective tone, and was clearly better researched. I found myself...
Weekend warrior parsing, part uno.
Christ, so much content to parse. There is a 6000 word piece on Mediabistro, the always amusing ramblings of the Handmaiden of Passive Aggression, and some (dare I say) bipolar-like twittering. I will start the parsing with the more vocal member of the Homecoming Court. The impassioned defense of Our Lady of Introspection seemed very sincere. It isn’t like Mary is tipping the baugher line...
The view is not pretty.
I am under a deadline to send this cargo out on the Underground Railroad, so forgive the lack of pithy introduction and let us proceed to a quick parsing: I now appreciate the visionary business acumen in describing their next business venture as an online version of The View . This is the online equivalent of watching Elizabeth Hasselbeck (in the form of the maniacally braying laughter of Our...
It takes (an East) Village.
It seems our Lady of Introspection is on the hunt, digging tirelessly to unearth the real baugher. To wit, one of the tipsters received this accusatory email from our Pink Lady today yesterday: You’re obviously intelligent, and a talented writer. You’ve gone to great schools, you have a [redacted] degree with honors. You seem to have a great job [redacted]. So why waste your time writing about...
Fact checking after the fact.
NYT Reporter who shall remain nameless: Really? The MacAir emails were legitimate? That seemed too over the top to be believable. baugher: Yes, and they were published despite the strong reluctance of one party to the conversation to have any ongoing association with the other party to that conversation. NYT Reporter who shall remain nameless: Would you have published it without consent?...
March 2008
28 posts
Scrunchy pulp fiction.
Christ, I so want to believe in the ongoing relevancy of the NYT, but they are making it so difficult. If they aren’t reviewing a fake memoir, or publishing stories about call girls who aren’t, they are writing puff pieces on a rich girl with bad extensions who thinks she is living the life of a fictional character. Thankfully, if the NYT is getting around to reporting on a ‘trend,’...
What's going on.
A couple of housekeeping items, and then we parse. First, a word about hiatuses. It implies a break. Let’s survey the Pink Lady’s landscape since “le affair d’Air Mac and the resulting “the internet is ruining my life” post: 50 new photographs on Facebook; hourly twittering; posting hammy videos, (including two lipdubs, a hobby invented by her ex);...
Marsha, Marsha, Marsha
The Handmaiden of Passive Aggression is a failed reality television star. Stunning, that. It appears Leven Rambin got all the acting talent in the family. That has to sting a little, since she doesn’t know the rules about respecting her elders. Next thing you know, Leven Rambin will be dating men her sister’s age, and getting more Gawker hits. She probably doesn’t even need...
No hiatus for old bloggers.
This is what Our Lady of Introspection has learned in her hiatus. “This is the devloution of celebrity. It just is.” Such as. Her opinion of people who are famous for being famous is presented without irony or an ounce of self-awareness. Recall that this person often opines on the mental health of others. Wait, hiatus? What hiatus? No hiatus! Wait, honorary degree from MIT? In...
Resurrection.
Problem: I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. It’s ruining my life. I thought that people could see through the bullshit, but they can’t. And it’s not their fault. It’s mine. If all of this comes at the expense of love my personal life, I don’t want it. So … thank you for reading. I don’t know when or if I’ll be back, but at the very least I need a...
Conspiracy theory.
The interns tipsters have spoken, and no one seems to believe that the Handmaiden of Passive Aggression authored her “Thank You” note to JL. There is a strong suspicion that it was ghostwritten by a certain irrepressible Pink Lady who is currently on an Oprah Magazine-advised limited hiatus. The evidence, in tidy bulleted form: Mary spells like a 5th grader and admittedly can’t...
Two weeks notice.
That was how long it took between the “I’m done” post and a fresh picture of Our Lady of Introspection. If her lips aren’t pursed, her mouth is wide open. I wonder what that means. She cautions that although she is not restarting the blogging yet, she will, on rare occasions, post random things, and won’t be back in full force until mid or late April. I tend to believe...
