Reblogging Julia
A critical analysis of the public ramblings of the creature formerly known as Ms. Baugher, who provides a manic amount of content to parse.
Every little thing she does is tragic.
Talk to me (juliabaugher at gmail) Always held in strict confidence.
Why you SHOULD be friends with your exes.
by my brilliant friend Moe over at Jezebel (thank you to Lydia for pointing this out to me!!)
As Moe writes, and I agree 435%, paraphrasing Julie Delpy in 2 Nights in Paris:
It’s just so TERRIBLY SOUL CRUSHING to get into a relationship with someone thinking you wouldn’t be there if there wasn’t any sex, that you wouldn’t value the person even as a friend, that the person’s utility to you has a fucking expiration date.
Yes. Yes, it is.
Great sentiment, just not applicable when you sold your ex’s private life out for public sympathy, especially after you were chastised by your blog readers for revealing the very same information. Here’s a quick tip from me to you, as you clearly have no true friends that will tell you how fucking ridiculous you are behaving:
He doesn’t want to have anything to do with you because you revealed yourself to be a conniving, contriving, and calculating bitch who would sell anyone out to garner favorable opinions to bolster her public image. I sincerely hope that any guy who gets involved with you googles you enough to know that you will reveal anything for a story or a higher perceived social profile. What’s worse is you never learned the lesson of an unqualified apology. You think you were called a monster for ‘taking the high road’ except that criticism was levied for precisely the opposite reason - that you took the lowest road of exploiting a confidence of a relationship in an attempt to bolster your public opinion (on a site that hates mention of you).
Here’s another truth - your attempt to stay ‘friends’ with his friends? So horrifyingly transparent and laughable. You were only together for a few months, not married for years, and your overtures towards his friends are immediately superficial and self serving. How did you feel when he hooked up with your adopted little sister? Probably more than a little betrayed, especially at the idea that he would try to ingratiate himself in your life. Now ask yourself how he must feel when his friends and family indulge your transparent requests?
You knew his friends and coworkers over the course of a few months, but now cling to them like a social life preservers, notwithstanding the uncomfortable way in which his employment relationship ended. They are nice to you because you have probably been solicitous and over the top nice to them, but at the end of the day, they are Jakob’s friends and family, and you are just the party guest that won’t fucking leave. Yes, JA, you are that person. Ask yourself how your friends would treat Jakob (aside from the one who hooked up with him) if he was shoving his way into your life. They would be polite, perhaps (although at least one would apparently hook up with him) but that’s it. Nothing more.
And how awkward are you making it for them? The term “breaking up” carries with it an actual break up. Shut the fuck up, at least publicly, and opt for some dignity. You dated for such a short period of time, and presumably, you had life before him. Are you really this bent after a short relationship primarily conducted for gawker hits? A few months of dating a 20 something millionaire and you are breaking out old journal entries and transcribing them for the internet and quoting Oprah? Jesus.
If you had a single true friend, they would bitch slap you and tell you to grow the fuck up. They would tell you that you have lost all shreds of dignity and that you are confusing your google analytics numbers with actual admirers. They would point out the differences between your blog content and the bloggers you claim to admire. Since you don’t appear to have that, think of me as your virtual sibling, albeit one that isn’t going to hook up with Jakob.