Reblogging Julia

An Annie Lennox Moment

WHY?

A valid question from both sides of the aisle (some employing more punctuation than others), and one for which there is no tidy answer.

Part of it was that some frequencies were crossed and her noise got on my dial, like country music on your alternative rock station, or Rush Limbaugh on your NPR. I heard a couple of things that made me laugh, a few things that made me cringe, then a shitload of emergency broadcast system signals that bleated without relief. I thought it was just me in, trapped in some weird M. Night Shyamalan film, because the bleating, it continued unabated and made no sense whatsoever and wouldn’t end. I became a captive listener. Not captivated. Captive.

In the early days of, uh, a week ago, the posts were like virtually yelling at Rush Limbaugh in your car. “No, dude, you’re doing it wrong “and, more often than not, “bullshit, asshole, this is all for show and ratings.” Unlike the average talk radio listener, however, I then did my own research and investigation, although this often led to other people who were similarly experiencing the EBS signal. It also led to some devout followers who spoke in tongues about Our Lady of Introspection. A polarizing figure. Like Dane Cook.

I wasn’t aware anyone was watching my animated lipdubs in the car, but the internet, she is a convertible. A few people overheard me and liked my singing voice, or, perhaps more likely, my Souljah Boy-like moves. Others were amused and/or disgusted at my lack of pitch and my white man’s overbite rhythm. Still others were offended that I would even dare to parody the talent of a living, breathing talent. Polarizing. Like Paris Hilton.

So I tried to do better, sing better, dance better, drive better. I got a few tickets for my efforts, a few fists pumps, and better understanding of reasonable criticism. Humor, when coupled with dispassionate observation and analysis, invites a much more clever and interesting audience than knee jerk barbs. Also, jokes about needing to pee make both sides of the aisle laugh. And you always need an editor, even if you are just being a jackass on the internets.

I am parodying a desperate-to-be-public persona, not the person, although I suspect that the two are closer than kissing cousins. I don’t think our Lady of Introspection knows where the lines are drawn, if any have been actually established. I don’t believe the online persona is genuine, as is evidenced by her malice while cloyingly claiming victim-hood, and I still think she needs a solid kick in the yambag by someone who truly knows and loves her. Like Britney Spears.

And since I’m here, let’s have some bullets!

• Far be it from me to get between a girl and her “studies,” but Ben Affleck hasn’t starred in every Kevin Smith film. He had supporting roles in a few, but really only starred in Chasing Amy and Jersey Girl.
• 12:37am; 1:54am; 2:07am; 2:35am; 3:58am; 4:19am; 4:46am; 5:32am; 6:39am……one almost gets the sense you have trouble sleeping at night.
• That IS a lot of eye makeup, and a tantalizing almost-cleavage shot that I’m certain you didn’t intend. Also, I am taken with the distant look of your pose. It is almost like you didn’t know you were taking a picture of yourself.
• It is clear how uncomfortable you were with the ‘excess’ of face paint, as you obviously couldn’t wait to get out of it hours later.
• Agreed. Emails are easier to repost and don’t require transcription and pesky typing, and it makes name dropping that much easier.
• Is all criticism of you considered nasty? I realize that you much prefer adoration, but isn’t it at least possible that less than fawning opinions are as valid as those praising your ‘courage’ at putting ‘it out there?