Reblogging Julia
A critical analysis of the public ramblings of the creature formerly known as Ms. Baugher, who provides a manic amount of content to parse.
Every little thing she does is tragic.
Talk to me (juliabaugher at gmail) Always held in strict confidence.
Top 10 things I love about JA.
On this, one of the holiest days of Our Lady of Introspection, our beleaguered subject finds herself without a man, and only canned frosting, a lovable lap dog, and years and years of pictures and journals to relive and repost. At times, Google Alerts makes it seem like people are only making negative remarks about her, and that the world has failed to fully grasp her phenomenal contribution to those she poses with or name drops. A few positive reminders of Our Lady’s innovative ways seems fitting on this day of Cupid.
10. Valloween. It isn’t your average person who can combine a love of slutty costumes with the day of love, but you are no average person.
9. Creative Co-branding. You have strong opinions about the importance of branding yourself. Dunkin Donuts was an intriguing co-branding decision, but then again, they feature palatable but not memorable stimulants, empty but tantalizing fare, and are open late. All told, genius strategy.
8. Trendsetter/Early Adopter. Our Lady of Introspection takes credit for the heavy hitting NYC media-types now posting on tumblr. It matters not that she was persuaded to get on tumblr by an NYC media type, as if it weren’t for her, NYC media wouldn’t even know who he was anyway. A professional gossip is so much more newsworthy than an internet nerd who started a couple of companies.
7. Great Moments in Investigative Journalism. “Everyone thinks that being beautiful will solve all of their problems (wouldn’t you agree that this is the prevailing idea??) Tell me what you think of this concept.” Also, “Ten years from now, there will be no division between television and the internet, and little between print and the internet.”
6. Friend Labeling. First names are never enough to give the reader the full sense of the person’s value and worth to Our Lady, and she never disappoints with her attention to detail. Identities of the people pictured with her (or written about) are generally identified by (1) relationship to her, including the temporal significance (e.g. “boyfriend second semester of junior year in high school,” “best friend most of senior year of college until I kicked her ass”); (2) academic bona fides (“classmate from Georgetown,” “MBA from Wharton,” “JD from Harvard,” etc.) and (3) occupation or other qualifier (“equities trader,”alcoholic son of a billionaire,” “has cancer,” etc.)
5. You Have a Wide Stance. When you aren’t looking like you have to pee. Just be careful in airport restrooms. Things like that can be misconstrued.
4. Infatuation with Disney and Sex and the City. Most men believe all women are like you, and most women are constantly assuring men that women like you don’t really exist. Kind of like Keyser Soze.
3. Resetting the Standard for Psycho Ex-Girlfriends Everywhere. You have done a service for ex-girlfriends in NYC media circles, and for those anywhere else who might have heard about you. Drunk texting and vengeful hookups are nothing compared to publicly blogging and discussing your ex’s confidences to his peers.
2. Obstinate Contradictions. You don’t drink, except when you do. You don’t wear makeup, except when you are. You love being single, except that you wish you had a boyfriend. You’re not a model, except when you are at a photo shoot or soliciting free clothes. You aren’t an actress, except when you are playing a role on television or online. You abhor gossip and negative comments, yet you do that for a living for a supermarket tabloid.
1. Willful Blindness. People who write publicly about their failed relationship are “hypocrites” and “douchebuckets.” That Alanis chick really knew what she sang about, didn’t she?