Reblogging Julia

33

A bit of enthusiasm was to be expected on Our Lady of Introspection’s birthday, but 33 birthday-related posts?  Quite a change from last year, to say the least, but she has really hit her stride in terms of blog promotion and self-importance.  27 posts would have been symbolic, but from that perspective, maybe 33 was more appropriate.  Take a curtsy, Pink Lady!

 Close enough, I guess.  YEE HAW! Onward to the parsing!

• This was disconcertingly genuine, and harkened back to the days when you didn’t make or believe your own press.  It was a little disingenuous not to acknowledge that you lived rent-free in your ex’s place for most of the year, but hell, you have been supporting yourself for months, and at the very tender age of 27.
• Few devoted pet owners would solicit the internet for strangers to dog sit the loves of their lives.  Evidently, Manhattan has no places to board dogs, and the cost would surely exceed a party dress anyway.
• I’ll get to this later.
• But you don’t drink!  Also, saying you only drank champagne when you post pictures of you drinking “your sponsored vodka?  Yeah, you may not be a good liar, but practice makes perfect and you practice.
• The three most important people in your life?  Are all assistants to people you have engaged to promote you.  Fascinating.
• It appears as though your exclusive guests dressed for the occasion.
• This looks totally natural and not at all staged.  Hell, if you can’t post a picture, it didn’t really happen, yes?  And this picture should totally have made it to Gawker, which is why it was posed and posted. 
• “I don’t need any birthday gifts.  My gift is my life and the people in it.”  You are still so pissed about not getting that Mac Air, aren’t you?  Motherfucker. 
• Fiinally, in merciful non-birthday shit, you needed a stylist to ‘dress you’ in jeans and a white button down?  Well, clearly.