Reblogging Julia

Rewriting history.

Our Lady of Introspection may not have an ounce of self-awareness, but I suspect that it is because she is constantly revising her history to support her persona de jour.  Present day Julia is a victim of mean blogs and even meaner men who fail to realize that she is a genuinely good person who only wants the best for everyone on the planet.   She wants to be treated as well as she treats everyone, but so far, that level of adoration has eluded her because of gossips.  Not professional gossips, just run-of-the-mill, anonymous people on the internet.

• “As long as you treat people well, you have nothing to be ashamed of.“  By the transitive property, does that mean you should be ashamed of treating people poorly by, hypothetically, publicly disclosing confidences you gained in the course of a relationship?  I’m sure you learned from that experience and have nothing but regret about it.*
• Here’s a case study in revisionist history:  Yesterday’s persona:

Do my partners expect me to be an expert in the bedroom? Yep. And at the risk of sounding … umm … really egocentric, I don’t disappoint. It’s not that I was born with innate skills or anything - it’s just that I took the whole thing seriously, got books, studied up, asked my partners what they liked, was willing to experiment.”

• Today’s persona:

“I’d be talking about all the virgins I knew and how I went on three dates but only kissed the guy and they’d be talking about all the naked parties with giant penis ice sculptures they’d attended…..I don’t think I realized it then, but I went off to college having only slept with one guy (my boyfriend of three years), and the conservative Catholic environment immediately set my knee-jerk attitudes about sex to “VERY VERY prudish.

• Great metaphoric picture about the value of your presence at SXSW.  Kudos.
• Still pissed off about not getting your Christmas gift, I see.  [Ed. Note: googlecached.  The internet will not be erased.]  Most people who purport to be dating experts would understand that a breakup necessarily means a termination of expectations for the future, including future gifts.  Promises made during the relationship, including promises to hold confidences private, should have been honored, but breaches of those confidences surely means that any gifts previously offered are void and off the table. 
• *This didn’t stop Our Lady of Introspection from emailing her ex today, imploring him to ‘do the right thing’ by buying her a MacAir.  To wit (and these were all forwards from third parties):

From: Julia Allison julia@juliaallison.com>
Date: Wed, Mar 5, 2008 at 2:46 PM
Subject: A thought
To: Jakob Lodwick
Chance to do the right thing!

I’m going to the apple store tomorrow to buy a macbook air.

It would be amazing if you lived up to your promise from this christmas.

How about it, JL?

 The response:

On 3/5/08 3:54 PM, “Jakob” wrote:

I took “Jakob is bipolar” to mean “all obligations are off”

————— Forwarded message —————
From: Julia Allison julia@juliaallison.com>
Date: Wed, Mar 5, 2008 at 4:16 PM
Subject: Re: Some thoughts
To: Jakob

I think it’s strange you’re still hung up on that!  It was three months ago.  No one cares about it!!

And the final response from our very caring, good person deep down Lady of Introspection:

————— Forwarded message —————
From: Julia Allison julia@juliaallison.com>
Date: Wed, Mar 5, 2008 at 4:42 PM
Subject:
To: Jakob Lodwick

Forget it, I don’t need to you to buy anything for me.

But quit it with the victim business.  It’s unbecoming - and untrue.

I fact-checked, and better than the NYT.  The chick is the bipolar opposite of a good person.  Just so we’re clear:  she begged her ex-boyfriend to buy her a laptop, downplayed the impact of publicly disclosing his confidences, then accused HIM of playing the victim.  Cautionary note to anyone who gets involved with her:  she is so imbalanced and nuts, and will sell you out faster than Rachel Mardsen. 

(Obligatory shout out to all of mah tipsters—  169 virgins in the afterlife, all of whom actually want and enjoy sex, and who knew how to orgasm before they were 27.)