Reblogging Julia

Parsing, part deux. The hangover edition.

The Mediabistroarticle was a near perfect antidote to the ridiculous Gray Lady’s puff piece on the Pink Lady. It was disheartening to witness the Paper of Record become USA Today, at least insofar as they ‘report’ on current entertainment trends, but I will still read the Week in Reivew. For now.

The mediabistro piecehad a much more objective tone, and was clearly better researched. I found myself wanting to compare notes with the author, as I suspect the omitted details of the story closely resemble the baugher tip line: ex-boyfriends who have finally rid themselves of their freakishlystalky ex, former professors and GU administrators who have yarns (and yarns) to spin of a disruptive and largely hated student, and old friends with long and detailed memories of a narcissist in the making.

The common denominator is that Our Lady of Introspection is tolerable, not necessarily likable, in person, she is desperate to promote herself (and that energy is toxic), and that she is striving to become the Paris Hilton of the internet. I am not going to parse the entire article, but it does give a startling portrayal of someone who is addicted to attention. If you are fascinated by such narcissistic pathology, have at it. I read it twice and was cringing both times. The author and I clearly share the same perspective of Our Lady of Introspection, and the foregoing bullets represent the money shots:

She works so hard for the money:

• For Fashion Week, Allison is taping video interviews for Star’s Web site. It’s been going smoothly: except for the moment she grabbed an actor from the television series Lost and asked ‘Can you give us any hints what’s going to happen next season?’ The actor grimaced and answered, “I was killed off last year.”
• Don’t worry, we’ll just fake it. I guess I should call my agent, I really have no idea what this is about”
• In October, I received a frantic call from Allison asking me if I could give her the 411 on “Joe Toro” and “Steinbrook.” When I suggested maybe she should decline, she shouted back, ‘No fucking way!”
• I just want to tell you how much I love The Girls Next Door,” says Allison.
  “Yes, but,” says Hirschorn (head of VH-1, who was taking a meeting with her)
  “It is really my favorite show, says Allison, her head bobbing up and down. “I’m hooked.”
  “Uh,” says Hirschorn.
  “No, seriously,” I love it,” insists Allison.
  “But it’s not on this network,” says Hirschorn.

She is an avowed attention whore:

• I’d wear prom dresses every day,” says Allison. “That is my look. I love for people to look at me all dressed up.”
• Approaching eleven, Julia was grounded for backtalking and her birthday party was canceled. Undaunted, Julia snuck out of the house, rode her bike to her parent’s country club, and persuaded the club to set aside a private room for her. She threw a surprise birthday party for herself the next day trekking in a bakery cake on her Schwinn.
• I like being seen as attractive. I also know that I have an expiration date. Maybe seven years.”

Her ‘friends’ know the score:

• “Julia’s been a natural disaster since I met her,” says Osgood, one of her best friends and a potential running mate on the reality show. “Julia appreciates how rules are important in society. But she can’t appreciate how they might apply to her…..Even then, she was saying ‘any attention is good attention.’”
• “I remember when digital cameras first came out, Julia saying ‘this is going to change my life and save me so much money,’” says a high school classmate.
• “She literally forgets anything that is inconsistent with the person she is trying to become at that moment in time. It’s a little sad, I have to be the custodian of her memories.”
• Then we got in a shouting match and she told me if I ever tried to censor one of her columns she would make sure I never get another job in journalism. At that point, I said ‘you’re fired, get the fuck out of my office.’”

Let’s meet the family’s perspective:

• Our son Britt’s exactly the opposite,” says [her mother]. “He’s studying to get a PhD in physics at MIT. He’s really quiet.” She laughs a little. “Now that I think about it, maybe that was a reaction to Julia taking up all the oxygen.”
• She’s taken off like a rocket ship.” Her [father] laughed a bit. “The only problem is at some point the rocket ship comes down.”

And finally, she is an admitted prick tease who trades in suggestions of sex for paid trips. She tries to project the confidence of a sexual woman, but she demonstrates no desire, use, or capacity for that kind of intimacy. Quite frankly, she has to be a cold lay, unless there is a camera on her, which is surely forthcoming. Sex is just a necessary evil and a bargaining chip to garner fabulous stories that she can then share with a bunch of strangers on the internet in an attempt to prove, once and for all, that she matters.