Reblogging Julia

Weekend trio.

A few from the mailbag, a few blind items, and a few parsings, all ribbed and bulleted for your pleasure:

Mailbag:

• Q: Are you Alex Balk?
• A: No. Pretty sure that’s a compliment for me and a slam on him, though.
• Q: Are you Julia Langbein and / or Neel Shah ?
• A: No, although I am intrigued by the subtle hint that they are one and the same. I’ll still score that one in the compliment column, though.
• Q: Are you Britt?
• A: Best. Question. Ever. No, I am not the Pink Lady’s brother. Nor her mother, father, or any other close family member for that matter.
• Q: Can you say anything nice about Our Lady of Introspection?
• A: She is a much better writer than her Court of Handmaidens, which is an admittedly hollow compliment. She has a wide stance and mouth. She sometimes gets the joke she is inadvertently telling. She provides a lot of manic content to parse.

Tipline (not verified - believe at your own risk)

• Which GU student was banned from her campus convenience store for repeatedly tucking candy bars in her doggie carrier?
• Which future talking head for a supermarket tabloid was punched in the face by her then-boyfriend’s sister for using his credit card without authorization? Apparently, it was a quality ass-kicking.
• What determined web personality met some of her ‘fans’ at a recent ‘rock concert’ with smiles and hugs, only to dismiss them later as fat and irrelevant within earshot of people who read this blog?
• What natural haired, non-blogging attention whore still thinks she has a chance with her ex’s friend, the floppy haired face of a popular college humor website? What interesting things she has to say about his girlfriend, who was the only reason she set her sights on his then-partner.
• What self-described fashion expert had her tenuous relationship with her more successful actress half-sister obliterated by the days of a friend’s life? Sources say that all those children weren’t tight before the younger/virtual sister made her well available for the company pen.

Parsings:

• Not many people can misspell a word (or town) back to back, especially after linking to a wiki entry, but luckily, the Handmaiden of Passive Aggression is such a person. She deleted the title of “Broy,” but she can’t seem to proofread for Bruges.
• While we’re with the Handmaiden’s blog, let us just ponder why the stylist doesn’t tell her Unnamed As Of Yet Handmaiden that her shoes are a size too small. Muffin top for the feet.
• Oh, we’re still here? Describing Rachel Sklar as someone who runs with quite a crowd: Dan Rather, Mitt Romney, Julia Allison, etc. reminds me of a certain Sesame Street sketch. The Pink Lady will spend the rest of her professional life trying to be in that company. Your role is to point out how she doesn’t belong there. Well played, Mary.
• You haven’t been invited yet because you lend nothing to the discussion. You are a talking head for a supermarket tabloid and a ‘dating expert’ for a very regional, low circulation publication.
• Congrats are in order, as phase one of the Zuckerberg infiltration plan has been achieved. For the record? I am betting strong against your extensions. You have failed in the sibling efforts in the past, and I am certain you will fail in these efforts again.
• Oh look. The Banality Triangle wants an intern. I wonder from whom she appropriated that idea? Incidentally, it is more than a little interesting that Mediabistro didn’t mention her prior internship with them in their otherwise comprehensive piece on her.
• Also, dude, you delete twitters while watching a movie at a theater? There really is no off button with you. No one believed that you were surprised to run into your ex at a photo shoot, least of all the tipsters.