Reblogging Julia

Big trouble in little internet.

Oh, the Days of Inanity.  Big changes are afoot.  Mary is leaving, JA got fired, and Meghan is still trying to win friends and influence people.  Onward with bulleting goodness:

Our Handmaiden of Passive Aggression:

• Big news is that, according to Gawker, who got a tip about a drunken confession from Our Lady of Introspection (who never drinks, ever), Mary is leaving the the band.  This is about as surprising as a Lohan relapse, but congratulations to my favorite wrist fannypack designer. 
• Her send off was this, a Jack Handy-cribbed Deep Thoughts about the future of internet content.  Protip, Mary: in the future, ask your “editor” to post something vaguely resembling your own voice and vocabulary and overall understanding of sentence structure and syntax.  You might want to ask your former partner about the plagiarist label on the way out.
• Oh wait, was this the “guest post” you backdated foreshadowed a few hours later earlier?  Odd that you didn’t credit it as such.  The internet never sleeps, Mary.  Want the screenshot?
• In all sincerity, best of luck to you.  You are the only one who developed something approximating a tolerable internet personality, and you did so in spite of considerable odds, given the dimly lit marquee name on the blog.  Avoid any discussion of politics, current events, healthy body image and eating habits, colonic benefits and naturopathy generally, (shit this list is getting long), pretty much anything beyond fashion, spinning and self deprecation and JA passive aggression.  Blow outs and blow jobs, Mary.  Win your demographic.  Talk about the teeth, and how it is good for the former and not the latter.
• If you ever want to know just how loyal your (now former) business partner was, do drop me a line.  Also, say hello to Leven for me. 

Our Handmaiden of Tragic Rebounds:

• Megs - may I call you Megs?  Mary beat you to the finish line, sweetie.  Thought I would tell you, in case your laptop died and you weren’t checking the internet. 
• May I ask why a tech blogger didn’t know to back up her files?  I think we both know the answer to that.
• “The more information you put out about yourself, the more you data is out there for marketers.”  And pimping Flicker?  Megs, I don’t think your heart is in this whole tech blogging thing.
• Ah, but I see you are taking up the Mary slack of passive aggression.  Megs, like tech blogging, this just isn’t you.  Mary’s appeal is bluntness and willingness to make an ass out of herself.  Yours is being naturally attractive, likeable, and seemingly embarrassed to be in the photo. 
• Pull the trigger, Megs.  Break up with this tragic rebound.  You have gleaned enough from your 50 word posts about the internet to know a little bit about internet branding, and how yours is swirling the bowl. 

Our Lady of Introspection:

• Bottom billing is deserved.
• She says she quit Time Out New York, which looks suspiciously exactly like this thing. 
• “I have loved being a dating columnist, but Carrie Bradshaw 2.0 is played out. I think I am columned out right now.”  You got canned.  Again.  File it under the dumped column in your stalker file.
• There is a lot to parse in the HuffPo article, but most of it has been scrubbed in the light of day, and really, who gives a shit anymore.
• Goddamn if this doesn’t say it all.  Ricky VanVeen was her first target, and when he proved unavailable, she went for Jakob Lodwick.  It appears Ricky has the exact same impression of her as he did a few years ago. (mirror, in case it dies, which seems to happen, and very much worth a click) 
• Also, JA?  Don’t mock College Humor’s television program.  It is airing on a major network. Bravo threw your “pilot” in the trash.  Ask for the focus group studies, particularly the feedback about you.  I have a copy if you need it.